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Pick 'n' Mix - 10

James Spender
5 Sep 2016

Because we want to ride our bicycles.

1. CocoPro Protein Coconut Water 

According to The New York Times’ Jonathan Corum, the average velocity of an unladen European swallow is 38kmh, and Monty Python was right – a coconut is far too heavy for a swallow to carry. But, thanks to globalisation CocoPro now imports the nuts’ quenching juices and blends them with a deliciously healthy 20g of protein per serve.

£2.75 each, drinkcocopro.com

2. VeloPac RidePac 1.1 

In 1567, Hans Steininger, owner of the world’s longest beard, broke his neck and died when he tripped over his prized 1.4m-long chin-curtain. Make sure you don’t succumb to similarly preventable calamities by keeping your own most precious things safely tucked away in the RidePac, which neatly accommodates cards, money, keys and mobile phone in a neat weather-proof, pocket-sized package. 

£28, velopac.cc

3. Rock ’n’ Roll lubes 

Rock ’n’ Roll lubes, so the story goes, were originally developed in the 1970s to loosen Elvis Presley’s ageing hips, and were applied more recently to grease the stage for a moonwalking Michael Jackson. Later, it was discovered that these PTFE lubricants also worked wonders on bicycle chains: Simply drip on, back pedal and cha’mone! your chain will glide like new. Just don’t spill it on your shoes, blue suede or otherwise.

from £6.95, thecycleclinic.co.uk

4. Campagnolo Tin Plate Shield

While best known for inventing the quick release skewer, Tulio Campagnolo has touched more than just the cyclist. To the oenophiles he gave the Big Corkscrew, to the fashionistas the sprung coat hanger, and in 1974 he made tennis rackets. Even now Campy makes these tin signs, which are perfect for the badge-collecting scutelliphilist in your life. Or maybe just your garage wall. 

£39.99, i-ride.co.uk

5. Nutriseed health food 

Salvador Dali took micro-naps by holding a key above an upturned plate, so at the onset of sleep the key would drop and he’d be awoken by the clatter. That’s one way of pepping up a tired body, but another is to instead drop Nutriseed’s health foods onto your tableware and feast upon the goodness of its Super Food Porridge and cold-pressed Virgin Coconut Oil.

from £8.99, nutriseed.co.uk

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